Abuse and manipulation often run hand-in-hand and are commingled, because of the age of the victim. There are several ways anyone, from a child to the elderly, can be abused. Abuse can be in any, or multiple, of the following forms:

• Physical
• Psychological
• Emotional
• Sexual
• Financial

Physical abuse is probably the most identifiable form of abuse, although mental abuse can occur through the process of manipulation. There are very subtle signs to look for such as frequent insults, isolation from loved ones, and unauthorized withdrawals from their bank account are just a few ways the elderly can be subjected to the devastating trio of psychological, emotional, and financial abuse.

We, as people, are all unique, but two things come to my mind that have commonality across all of us…across generations, sex, race, religion, and the like.  First, we are all consumers. While this article has nothing to do with being a consumer, it is what comes to my mind as a commonality. The other commonality that I would like to focus on in this article is that we are all inevitably going to age… growing old, not necessarily “growing up,” will inevitably occur as we age. At some point, we will either deal with an elderly parent or have to have someone help us because we have become elderly ourselves. Most elders have worked all their lives to pay for their house and/or land, create a comfortable retirement for themselves, and save a “nest egg” to be passed on to future generations. Many elderly have money, stocks and bonds or other savings accounts, land, jewelry, etc. “stashed away,” only to be abused, manipulated, or scammed out of these assets. Unfortunately, it is usually a caretaker, loved one, neighbor, or other confidant that preys on and swindles the elderly out of his/her assets.

Some of the signs to look for that may indicate abuse include:

• Your loved one has changed routines or schedules. This can in the form of your loved one not coming to Sunday dinner, just as he/she has done past or your loved one’s phone calls to check in quit suddenly.
• Your loved one quits asking and relying on you to take him/her to doctor’s appointments or helping with errands.
• Your loved one alienates you.
• Your loved one is always with a particular person and this person is the only person who is “allowed” to handle your loved one’s affairs.

No one wants to talk about death, but the importance of making sure that you or your loved one’s well-being and assets are taken care of cannot be stressed enough! The above can be an indication that he/she has been manipulated into believing that you do not have his/her best interest in mind or that you are “out to get” him/her. This type of abuse allows the abuser to control your loved one; abusers love nothing more than when their prey is in their control! At times, the above examples can be an indication that your loved one has been manipulated into granting someone new as Medical Power of Attorney, changing his/her Living Will, deeding property to someone new, or executing a new will.

Detecting, defending, and protecting the elderly prior death is very important. Unfortunately, we normally do not find out until death that abuse and manipulation has occurred. Once a will goes into probate, it can become apparent that the executor is the sole beneficiary, with all or a majority portion of the assets going to him/her.  At such time, it comes to light that the will has been changed, the deed to the elder’s real property (house, family land, etc.), and heirloom assets were changed to the executor before death. This type of abuse tears families apart! Let us help you make sure that yours and your loved one’s hard-earned “nest egg” is taken care of for years to come.

Feel free to call us at (205)-594-5133 or visit our website at www.rlflaw.net. Let’s embark on a conversation about how we can rectify matters for you.

Charlie Robinson